A few weeks ago, I went through an abbreviated version of the Hoffman Process. It was an online version of what is typically in-person intensive. This post provides a review of what happened and what I got from it.
What is the Hoffman Process? Is it a cult?
No, not a cult. Or if it is, they didn’t ask me to join.
That said, the Hoffman Process does go deep into the “woo”. If the idea of healing your inner child or stomping out your fears and beliefs (literally) makes you want to cringe, then maybe this isn’t for you. Or maybe it is absolutely for you!
I'm someone who’s not comfortable with woo-woo-ness, but I do see the value in self-development and spiritual exploration, which is why I signed up. Plus my inner child has been triggered a lot this year (who’s hasn’t?), so I thought it was prudent to give her a chance to grow up.
Hoffman Process Online vs In Person
In “normal’ times (2020 has been anything but normal), this process is done over a week-long, in-person workshop. I can’t tell you how happy I am that I didn’t do that. It would have been too much people-ing for my introverted self.
Instead, the 2-day, Zoom-based weekend workshop was the perfect amount of time to get a taste of the Hoffman techniques and still enjoy sleeping in my own bed at night. It’s also a lot cheaper ($500 for the online process vs $5000 in person).
How it works
After you sign up, you’re asked to write a few paragraphs about your childhood experience, and any limiting beliefs that you want to focus on over the course of the experience. Then you read a short essay on the Hoffman Process and the theory that it works from.
The premise of the Hoffman Process, is to break the negative habits, behaviors and beliefs we have based on a “negative love syndrome”.
In a nutshell, we create negative patterns based on our experience relating to our parents. Everything we do as children is to obtain our parent's love and approval. It shapes who we are and how we operate in the world. The Hoffman process provides the tools and experiences we need to look at who we are objectively and stop destructive patterns.
What kind of things do you do during the Hoffman Process?
Well, again, I only did the online version, which is an abbreviation of the full monty, but there was a lot of journaling, meditating, body movement and sharing. Oh yes, you will be asked to share and its every bit as awkward as it sounds. Again, thank God for the anonymity of Zoom.
Here's a few things we were taught that I found helpful.
Quadrinity: The Four Aspects of Self
One of the most profound things we went through in the process was learning and connecting to the quadrinty - the four essential parts of the self. This includes the body, the intellect, the emotional self and the spiritual self.
Part of the work is identifying feelings in the body, which was truly profound for me. So much of our personal trauma is stored in the body, and when you’re guided to tap into it and express it, you can achieve immediate healing. This is something I experienced first hand and it’s the primary reason why I would recommend this program to anyone.
We all have traumas, big and small, stored in our bodies from a very young age that we carry throughout our lives. The more we can accept and release these traumas, the lighter we’ll be.
Growing up your Emotional Self
Another practice I found really interesting was the process of going inward to find your emotional self, and clearly seeing how old he or she is. Even though we age and mature, every often our emotional self gets stunted from growth in our childhood.
I clearly saw my emotional self as a seven-year-old and I was able to bring her up to my age. While I still see an inner child in myself, she no longer represents my emotional maturity, which is a beautiful thing.
Stomping out out old beliefs
One of the most interesting exercises was listing out our limiting beliefs (they call them “patterns”, putting that list in front of you, going into a meditation, then standing up and stomping on them for a solid 10 minutes.
I’m not going to lie, I thought it was super cheesy, but once I got into it, the tears started flowing and low and behold, my energy shifted.
My Thoughts & Review of the Hoffman Process
Overall, I found the weekend to be very beneficial. It was cathartic, I learned a lot about myself and how I hold myself back. As many others have said, I did feel “lighter” after the experience, because I felt like I had offloaded some emotional baggage.
Specifically, I don’t take things people say to me quite so personally as I used to, and I’m less triggered by the behavior of others. It hasn’t changed my reality, just the way I interpret the actions of others, which is a big deal.
Who is the Hoffman Process for?
I think it’s for anyone who has the desire to change. I feel like this is a very specific person, because not all of us are ready to look honestly at ourselves and see where we’re holding ourselves back.
Personally, I feel like you need to get to a point where you’re so sick of your own BS, that you’re willing to do awkward things and throw some money at your own recovery. Not everyone is there yet, and that’s okay.
I also think you have to be willing to get personal and vulnerable around people you don’t really know. Granted, they are strangers so there is some comfort in that, but sharing your personal weaknesses is part of the healing process. Ironically, it’s when you speak them out loud, you notice others nodding with familiarity. When you realize that we all share similar fears, the shame associated with them disappears.
Was this review helpful?
If you have specific questions about the Hoffman Process, feel free to drop a comment below. I am not in anyway affiliated with them, but I just felt it was a super helpful practice.
You can also learn more about the Hoffman Process from this Tim Ferris podcast with Blake Mycoskie, The founder of Toms Shoes. He goes through his experience, which is what drove me to try it.
More Resources on the Hoffman Process
If you're curious about the process and you want to learn more about it before investing in a workshop, I recommend the following resources:
- Follow the Hoffman Process on Instagram
- Listen to their Podcast
- Check out their blog
- Check out their Youtube Channel
Question for you - Would you ever drop $500 on a personal development program? I know that’s a significant amount of money, but it’s hard to put a price on your personal wellbeing.
Caren is a certified yoga teacher, fitness instructor and ADHD Coach. As the founder of The Fit Habit, she shares ADHD-friendly self-care, food & fitness inspiration, along with practical ways to foster mind + body wellness.
Rachel
Hey - now quite a few months later down you still find it helpful and are you still glad you did the weekend? I want to work on loving myself more, trusting myself and believing I am worthy of finding a partner (stop chasing men.) I can’t afford the time or money for the full week but was curious about the zoom weekend
Caren
Rachel, thanks for reaching out. While I found this program to be helpful, it's not something I would recommend if you are stretched for time or money. I feel like it was a nice-to-have, but not a life-altering experience. I got just as much value from starting a meditation and yoga practice. Also diving into self-development books/podcasts are helpful.
I'm not trying to deter you from diving in, but there's a lot you can do before dropping that kind of money on a program.
I hope you find the peace you're looking for!!!
Maggie
Thanks for your thoughts on Hoffman . I’m wondering if you had attended the in-person program if you would have felt it worth the money. It is life changing. For me it was five years of great therapy in seven days. Well with the investment in a time when I had to go into debt to attend.
Suzanne
Hi,
Do you think this would help a narcissist, if he was open to it?
Thanks,
Suzanne
Caren
I don't think a narcisisst would be willing to go...
Ola
No. I wouldn't throw $500 on a personal development program. Because I don't have as much. It's hard to put a price on your personal wellbeing, sure. But apparently wellbeing is something only rich people should have.
Caren
It's all a matter of priorities, Ola.
annette
The Hoffman process has a scholarship fund for those who aren’t able to pay for it.
Lynnss
If you had attached, attuned parenting to start with, regardless of your income, you might not need as much wellbeing improvement and help. Well-being is for people lucky to have had good parenting.
Given that your comment sounds pretty snarky I’m guessing you didn’t get that. Me neither.
$500 is cheaper than a few talk therapy sessions or one psych session. I’d do it.
As Carin mentioned there are plenty of Free and low cost self help books/meditation to get you somewhere.
Richie
Yes. I've spent the last 30 years pursuing meditation retreats and spending most of my free time and money on that sort of thing. Until recently I must say I thought that therapy was a crock. But self-discovery leads to less resistance - to the Woo Woo side of things.
Michelle
I am taking part in the process next weekend. I applied and received a significant scholarship. Thank you for review as I feel better prepared after reading it.
RUDOLPH MICHAELS
Caren,
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with The Hoffman Process. Surely it will be helpful for others to decide if they are ready for such an investment in themselves. I consult, coach, advise and teach and I have considered suggesting this method to others. Your experience and comments were of value.
Thank you
David
I attended the process in 1997, the 7 day residential in California. It is now 2022 and I can tell you all it sticks. A life changing event for me. My outlook on life and dealing with others has changed (for the better)ever since. I have more clarity. My relationships have all been much better. I am much happier in life, with myself and my choices. I urge anyone who is really ready to understand how they have become who they are to explore this. It will give you back as much as you put into it. Thank you Caren for sharing as I am trying to help a friend. All the best
Annette
Even more, I paid the whole bunch for the in person version back in 2017 and it was worth every penny!! It’s drastically life-changing, there’s an active community which can be very comforting in stressful times (like 2020/21 was). Still benefits from my process every day and my in person group became very dear friends.
Lillie
Wu. Not “woo”
Google it.
Caren
Nope.... it's Woo.
Jacqueline
I took the Process twice - once for my father and once for my mother. It changed my life and helped me to become sober in my 2 addictions, leading to a better life. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who wants to change and lead a healthier life.
Tom
I attended the process in Napa in 2009. It was recommended by a member of my company who had attended and sent his daughters also. He is a mentor and friend, and in our conversations I had reached an impasse because I could not address issues with my mother - who was deceased. He immediately declared that it was time for me to go to Hoffman. My company paid for it - thank God. But knowing what I know now, I would pay it myself. The process works, but I agree that you need to be ready for it. The descriptions of the online process are only a small part of what happens when you are emersed in the process. And the idea that a yoga class could provide the same value does not ring true to my ears. The tools you take away from the process are very useful to keep working on your patterns. Does it fix people? No. Because your patterns are your patterns. It teaches you how to lessen the power that your patterns have over your behavior. And that changes you, and those changes change the reality of your every day life, across all dimensions of your life. I highly recommend it to those who are ready. At a minimum, you must have obtained some measure of self-awareness/self-actualization. Like any therapeutic process, it's garbage in, garbage out.
Florenz
I signed up for a weeklong process a few years ago, but found it to have a decidedly indoctrinating approach; hectoring and not allowing time to let it settle in one's own mind. It was certainly very disturbing and battering of the emotions. Some elements, meant to 'symbolic' processes were laughable also.
Halfway through I was asked to leave. Not nicely, or safely, but suddenly mid-process and after already having loosened up all kinds of emotions. there was no explanation as to why I was thought not suitable to continue; I could only surmise I hadn't fully been sucked into the hypnotising parts of the process.
There was no adjustment in the leaving, I wasn't permitted to say goodbye to those in the group I had shared experiences with; there was no care at all as to my safety: they sent me on my way, utterly shaken and in fact unsafe to drive!
From what I had read and been told about the process beforehand, I concluded that once upon a time, it was a sound and thorough treatment but that is has grown into a moneymaking machine that has lost integrity and that most certainly skews into the cultish zones; they want to sign you up into future return programmes. Also they seemed to have a whole bunch of youngsters enrolled with rich daddies paying for it. Future cash cows.
Me as a middle-aged person, with experience of therapy in other, more professional, environments had no place there.
interesting, but fake - at least nowadays - and potentially dangerous.